Pastoral Message

December 14, 2012

The Rev. Peter Morales, president of the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), issued the following statement on Friday, December 14, 2012, in response to the day’s tragic events in Newtown, Connecticut:

“I am shocked and profoundly saddened by the news of the massacre at a school in Newtown, Connecticut. My deepest condolences go out to the families and friends of those who lost their lives today. I know of nothing more tragic than a young life cut short by violence. This is a time for embracing one another and helping each other find strength and solace.

“This is just the latest horrific act of gun violence targeting innocent lives. Whether it’s the mall shooting in Oregon or the mass murders in Aurora, Colorado or the shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and others in Tucson, Arizona or the Columbine school killings, these instances of violence continue to erupt in America. It is an additional tragedy that today’s killings occurred in an elementary school where our youngest and most vulnerable spend their day. All Americans must reflect humbly and work to change the conditions that allow such violence to take place.

“We must rededicate ourselves to creating a society where differences are resolved without violence, where the mentally unstable do not have ready access to lethal force, where violence is not glorified, and where we can live, love, and work in safe places. Our task as a religious people committed to compassion and to peace is to show a better way.”

Hi Family,

On September 17, Rosh Hashanah began which is the Jewish New Year. On September 25 at sundown, Yom Kippur or the Day of Atonement will begin. For Jews, this time of year is the High Holy Days, a time for serious introspection, of turning inward to consider mistakes and failings of the previous year. It is a time for atonement and to ask for forgiveness.

My first real experience with atonement and forgiveness was when I started working the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Until then, when I told someone I was sorry or asked for forgiveness I did so because it was the socially acceptable thing to do.  Or I was telling people what I thought they wanted to hear. Thus, before AA, my trying to atone for causing someone harm came more from a selfish intellectual level than a spiritual one.

With the help of my AA sponsor, I learned to sincerely right my relationships. I found inside myself the desire to return to, and stay in, right relationship with others.  I can still hear my sponsor’s voice telling me that making amends without changing my behavior would never be enough. One consequence would be people’s unwillingness to forgive me for the same hurtful behavior over and over and over.

My experiences in AA and in ministry have taught me that before I can seek forgiveness from others, I must first forgive myself. Further, without knowing how to forgive myself, I am not truly able to forgive others.

So I ask you, during these High Holy Days, do you need to forgive yourself?  Is there anyone you need to approach, sincerely, to ask for forgiveness? Is someone in your life seeking to make amends to you? Maybe there is someone you can to forgive.

I will close with a short prayer;

May you have the charity to forgive yourselves, the courage to ask for forgiveness and the compassion to forgive others.

As always I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.

Love,

Rev. Monica

Dear Family,

The airwaves and internet are flooded with news of the horrific mass shooting that occurred during the midnight showing of the new Batman movie.  When I first learned of the incident, I assumed that the majority of the victims and eye witnesses would be youth and young adults.  My heart breaks for the victims, eye witnesses and their families, friends and neighbors because they will forever be changed by this senseless act of violence.  My heart also is broken knowing that after this incident many of you may no longer feel safe or may hesitate to engage in activities such as this that bring you joy and excitement.

In grief, I offer you this prayer:

Prayer for the People of Aurora Colorado

Dear Unknown, Unknowable, yet Known by Many Names, we call out to you in this time of violence, loss, fear and pain.  May the victims’ families and survivors of this horrific event know that they are not alone.  May they know that people near and far are praying with and for them.

Dear Unknown, we call out to you for youth and young adults who have been traumatized by this event and will need the loving support of family, friends and faith communities to comfort and reassure them in the hours, days, weeks and years to come.

In the spirit of love that transforms hate.  In the spirit of community that transforms aloneness.  In the spirit that never forsakes and is always present.  We offer this prayer.

Love,

Rev. Monica

Hi Family,

Happy June!  For those of you graduating, reporting for active duty in one of the armed services, starting a new job or moving to a new home, congratulations.  And for those you who had to drop out of school, are unemployed, underemployed or have given up trying to be employed, I pray that you have a supportive community who will love you through this economically challenging time.

When I do not attend Sunday morning services, I usually spend an hour or so reading my favorite UU theologian, James Luther Adams(JLA).  This past Sunday I read an essay titled “The Chief End of Human Existence.”  The section of the essay that I really resonated with focused on isolation and its effects on people in community.  Not isolation in the sense of being physically alone.  JLA refers to isolation with “other people with whom one enjoys nothing significant in common.”  That is the type of isolation that causes some people to feel totally alone in the world even when they are surrounded by others.  A loneliness that is difficult for one to understand and challenging to explain to others, especially family members.

During the next few weeks, I want you to think about what is significant to you. What holds meaning for you in your life?  For example, religion, spirituality, friends, family, faith community, a special place in your neighborhood?

As always I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.

Love,

Rev. Monica

Hello Family,

Growing up, I was afraid of vampires.  As the youngest sibling of four, I usually had to watch TV shows my older siblings wanted to watch.  Most of the shows I enjoyed, however, there was one that caused nightmares: Dark Shadows.  I can still remember the creepy lead character, Barnabas Collins, and how he manipulated people so he could drink their blood to stay alive.  I can also still remember my older brothers waiting for me to get in bed after the show, creeping into my bedroom and scaring me before being scolded by my parents.

With age and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I was able to overcome my fear of vampires.  I wish there was a TV show or movie that could help me recover from my dread of going to the dentist.  When I go to the dentist, I have similar feelings like those I experience while watching Barnabas Collins bite the neck of his latest victim.  I want to cover my eyes to avoid witnessing what is happening.

We all have things that we fear.  We all have things that we resist.  It is how we deal with our fears and the things that we resist that impact our ability to be healthy emotional and spiritual beings.  What are some of the things you fear?  What are some of the things you resist?  How do you deal with your fears?

How do I deal with my fears and the things I resist?  I try to embrace them.  For example, I communicate to my dentist and his staff how difficult it is for me to show up for my appointment every six months.  In fact, I have a dental appointment in an hour and I will show-up.  Sure, I will be full of anxiety and tension.  However, I know that after my appointment, my self-confidence will be high and I will have one more experience to build on of facing that which causes me dread.  Because each time I face my fears or things I resist, I gain more self-confidence and the faith of experience to know that what does not kill me will make me stronger and emotionally and spiritually healthier.  And that is my wish for all of you.

As always I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.

Love,

Rev. Monica

Hello Family,

My head is spinning from all that has happened since my February newsletter column.  I attended retreats for UU Military Chaplains, UU Religious Professionals of Color and the Youth Ministry Advisory Committee.  All three of the above mentioned groups advocate for and support UUs who are marginalized either within Unitarian Universalism and/or in the U.S.

One of the many reasons I am a UU and love Unitarian Universalism is the support and voice that is given to people who are oppressed and marginalized by U.S. culture.  By now most of you have heard about Trayvon Martin, who was killed as he walked to the home where he was staying after shopping at a nearby store.  The person who shot Trayvon said he looked suspicious.  In other words, Trayvon looked like he did not belong.

One of the common stories shared by people who are marginalized or oppressed is that they are made to feel like they do not belong.  This message is sometimes communicated with a question such as “Are you lost” or action such as following the person perceived as not belonging.  The message “You are different” can be communicated by simply ignoring someone or denying that you notice differences in appearance, gender expression, ability, perceived sexual orientation, age or race/ethnicity.

Our sixth Unitarian Universalist Principle calls us to affirm and promote “The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all.”  I encourage each of you to answer the following questions.  How can our sixth UU Principle be practiced in youth and young adult communities?  Is the culture of your youth and young adult community one that judges people on appearance, gender expression, age, race/ethnicity or perceived sexual orientation or ability?  Is the culture of your youth or young adult community a place where people are free to bring all of their identities without fear of feeling different?  If your answer is “I do not know” or “No” to any of the above questions, I encourage you to explore ways to change the culture of your community so it is a reflection of our UU Principles.

As always, I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.

I Love You,

Rev. Monica

Hello Family,

When you read or hear someone mention our first Unitarian Universalist Principle, that calls us to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, do you believe it applies to you also?

I can recall a time during my teens and young adult years when I did not treat myself with worth and dignity.  And while I tried to treat others with worth and dignity, I still caused family and friends emotional pain.  I was recently reminded of that time of my life when I attended a retreat for UU Military Chaplains.

During my undergraduate studies, I joined ROTC and when I graduated I was commissioned as a 2LT in the U.S. Army.  After three years of escaping detection while serving in the Army Reserves, I failed a drug test two days after reporting for active duty and was separated from the Army nine months later.

After the deaths of my parents, those nine months and years to follow until I got clean and sober was the worst time of my life.  Needless to say, treating myself with worth and dignity after throwing away my military career was almost impossible.

Not until I sat in a circle with UU Military Chaplains did I realize that I had healed and forgiven myself for treating myself and the Army with disrespect.

So I ask you, do you treat yourself like you have inherent worth and dignity?  Is there anything you need to forgive yourself for?  What do you need to do to start the process of forgiving yourself?

As always, I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.

I Love You,

Rev. Monica

Hello Family,

I am sitting in my home office watching squirrels run across cable lines while reflecting on 2011.  Wow, it has been quite a year.  Most notable this past year is the publicity related to teen suicide because of bullying, and the Occupy Movement.

At first glance these topics seem to be unrelated.  However, after digging just a little below the surface, the connection becomes clear.  The common thread that connects the two is abuse of power.  For example, heterosexual youth who use their dominant cultural power to bully LGBTQ youth and CEO’s of banks and corporations who use their financial power to bully the unemployed, under-employed, poor and working class. Indeed, 2011 will be remembered as the year the 99% broke their silence to let the 1% know that bullying (physical, verbal, financial) destroys lives.

Finally, I invite you to reach out to family and friends who may be struggling with unemployment, depression or illness during this holiday season and let them know that they are not alone.  Conversely, if you are suffering with depression, please reach out for support.  Youth and Young Adults of Color who are interested, I have a list of UU ministers and religious professionals of color who are willing to provide chaplain support during the holidays.  Please contact me for a list of their names.

You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://livingmosaic.blogs.uua.org/

Living My Faith,

Rev. Monica

Hi Family,

I hope this message finds you and your family well.  I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Central Midwest District Chapter of the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association’s fall retreat last week.  The topic for the retreat was “Whose Are We.”  For two days, we reflected on relationships with colleagues, our personal ministries, a Higher Power, etc…  In addition to pondering the above questions, I also participated in a morning worship service titled, “Whose Are We”, by providing the following closing words,

Whose Are We?

our parents and partners

our siblings

our children

our pets

Whose Are We?

our neighbors

our friends

our co-workers

our congregations

Whose Are We?

the powerful and the powerless

those who suffer and

those who cause the suffering

Whose Are We?

the 6 generations that have passed

the 6 generations yet to come

the great cloud of witness

Whose Are We?

Whose Are We?

Whose Are We Not?

I invite you to respond to the questions, “Whose are we and Whose am I” with your family, friends, youth group, or co-workers.  After you do so, I would love to hear about your experience.

You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic.

I Love You,

Rev. Monica

Hello Family,
In the month of June we will celebrate Fathers Day and the beginning of Summer.  June is also a month in which cities across the world will host Gay Pride events.  After many years of not attending Pride events, I decided to show my Pride and celebrate with Milwaukee’s LGBT community last weekend.  After walking around the grounds and visiting most of the booths and food venders, I settled in at the LGBT Center of Southeast WI booth, where I socialized and talked about present and future programming at the Center.  As darkness fell, people begin to gather in the main stage area for the final concert and headline performer LeAnn Rimes.
Okay, I will admit to having a love/unlike relationship with Country Music which stems in part from the less than accepting history of the genre toward the LGBT community and people of color.  So, I was undecided as to whether or not I would attend the concert.  Just as I decided to head home, the music started and I found myself swaying to the beat, singing along and moving closer to the stage.  LeAnn was phenomenal in her performance, sharing about how her life influences her music and the lessons she has learned the past year.
One lesson she learned is the power of forgiving and asking for forgiveness.  From personal experience, I know it is harder to ask for forgiveness than it is to forgive.  What I have learned from my years in recovery is that it is even harder for me to forgive myself which is where I need to begin if I want to change how I treat myself and others.
Over the next month, I want you to ponder the following questions.  When was the last time you forgave yourself?  Is there someone who you need to ask for forgiveness?  Is there someone who you need to forgive?
As always, I would love to hear from you.  You can message me on Facebook at Monica Cummings, email me at mcummings@uua.org or leave a comment for me on the YaYA of Color blog, UU Living Mosaic at http://uuyayaoc.blogs.uua.org/.
Living My Faith,
Rev. Monica